THORNS AND ROSES

Power Hungry

2008-05-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

Read the papers the other day (which i try to keep up at least several times a week) and AGAIN, another DEATH at the National Service camp, a few pages after it, an entire Camp been detained for quarantine for illness that affected almost all of the young adults.all im thinking is, WHAT THE HELL IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS NATIONAL SERVICE THING AGAIN? because so far, i have YET to see or hear ANYTHING that is remotely beneficial from it. Kids saying they learned alot? yeah how about the term "communism"? (which can sometimes be mistaken for "discipline") did watch an adv on astro from trainees from NS, the entire time im thinking "geez wonder how much they bribed you to say all that wonderful stuff". This is suppose to be something young people can learn and grow from right? not DIE from because of poor health keeping of facilities? or is it because of poor care taking in the so-called-food they provide? or the ignorance of caretakers, believing these young adults should be treated like juveniles to learn what its like in the real world? im just rambling here on the possibilities so if anyone wont mind sharing legit info on whats causing these families to lose their children, im all ears.
how i feel - DISGUSTED

went to check out SPACE cause every one been tellin us that theres a pole there! what do we find when we got there? a podium with a hole and NO POle. apparently, its ILLEGAL to have a free standing pole unless it is part of the building structure or if you have a licensed and approved show on, otherwise, TAK BOLEH ADA POLE! (in my best malay accent).
this is Law talking--> no! the pole brings out the evil in ppl la! cannot have the pole by itself unsupervised! ppl will go crazy when they see the pole la! evil! got pole? saman! i will stay outside of your establishment and watch for you to make a mistake!
this is Law maker talking --> not enough officials patrolling? not important. staking out at clubs where ppl may have poles more important.
Went to watch KAM in your face on their last day. i must say i was very surprised at how much they got away with!the stabs and jokes on homos in m'sia, government,lingam case... the last time a buddy did a stand up there and he was given a full list on the topics he cant touch (religion was on the top list, government issues,malaysian news, homos, politics...), then again could it be because he's a foreigner?

how they feel - POWER HUNGRY

*update on the DVDs, now the items "COULD NOT BE FOUND". called the customs officer, he claimed only one been confiscated (thought that same title is sold in the movie stores here) and that his boss had taken it home (HA! HOW CONVENIENT!) and the rest "could not be found", (HA, AGAIN, HOW CONVENIENT).
what they are - DISGUSTING SHAMELESS PRIMITIVE THINKING IN BREEDING THIEVES WHO LEARN FROM THEIR BOSSES. perfect example of "MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO"

Everything's a fight

2008-04-20T21:13:00.001-07:00

gee that title was a positive way of starting out =P

to clarify that, its been a nightmare living in a country where your dealing with bastards' stupidity and greed rather than dealing with real issues like ppl dying with no homes and food

Just happened-->
we ordered some movies off amazon.com to be shipped over. 3 weeks later we get a letter from KLIA customs stating that its being held, need paperwork(invoice) to clear...(ALL IN BM!AND ITS COMING FROM A FUCKING INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT COURIER) after we got it transalated, a deep pang tells me we're up for yet another BATTLE with the government workers. called up the number provided, a pleasant sounding lady name NORA answered (and thank the lord she spoke english ok) and said "all you paid is RM49.50 to clear it. we'll send it to the nearest post office for you to pick up". i asked "is that all?" she said, "yup, we just need you to fax over the form for clearance along with the invoice for your package" (i was guessin to prove the contents).
well lo' and behold, the very next day, we received a call from a FENDI saying "yes we need you to pay RM465 for tax...". our reply?
"why dont you go fuck yourself slowly"
COME ON!!! IT WAS A FUCKING SCAM AFTERALL! THATS WHY THEY WANTED A DAMN INVOICE!
we asked for black and white of this tax ruling and how they justify the percentage to be charged.
so the dvds have to fall under a category out of the many listed.
"disc for laser reading system" is one of them which is NIL on import/export and only 10% sales tax
BUT for SOME reason, this time it magically falls under "OTHER" with 30% import tax and 10% sales tax.
so i asked FARIQ SHAM (who claimed to be the customs relations manager) why is not under the correct category.
he says " actually., its under two categories la"
i said " if thats so, what justifies you choosing "OTHERS" and not the correct one?"
he says " uh...let me check back for you..."
YOU CALL THIS REPRESENTING MALAYSIAN CUSTOMS REPUTATION?????
a customs officer TENGKU AZIZ who had to deal with J made a BIGGER impression on representing us.
J asked, "how do you select which package to tax? as i've ordered many before but this is the first"
Dumbass answered," actually we randomly select because we do everything manually, we dont do computer system here"

HELLLOOOO????? KLIA AIRPORT? VOTED BEST INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT? DOES NOT HAVE COMPUTERIZED SYSTEMS IN COURIER / CUSTOMS DEPARTMENT????
WELL DONE MY MALAYSIAN FRIENDS! ITS THIS DISGUSTING GREEDY LOW-LIFE-GET-WHAT-YOU-CAN MENTALITY THAT PREVENTS THIS COUNTRY FROM GROWING TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL
*not to mention the fact that their CCTVs are not ALL in fully working and recording mode!!!* (referring to the latest weapon armed robbery at KLIA)
Now it seems like its another fight we have to put up with

Our country's leaders are too busy playing the blame game still amongst themselves. all that time and energy could have been invested in dealing with the issues that are actually serious and in deep need of immediate attention.
think about this:
1 - how long did that Lingam story go on for in the papers? weeks!!!
did it involve the security of the nation? hmmm.....
2 - how long did the blame-game stories go on for since mar 8? until now!!!
was it productive? hmmmm.....
3 - how long was the explanation and action plan about the incident at KLIA on for in the papers? 2 days? 3 days maybe?
now doesn't that involve the security of the nation? not to mention the REPUTATION of Malaysia? how are we keeping the country going if we're scaring tourist off with the Airport's incompetent systems?

The so-called leaders may wanna portray the country as being this peaceful nation where we have no racial issues.nothing wrong with wanting your country to look good globally...
although, there's a difference between hiding the truth and straight up lying
having your face on TV announcing that we have no racial issues at all while on a split screen, that Broadcasting news channel was airing the indian protestant and how we supposably dealt with it....way to go yo!

back to our DVDs, if these government workers are getting paid enough that they gotta scam every chance they get, what the hell is really going on in there?
or shall we say its just the Malay practicing superiority?

some random feelings in progress...

2008-04-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

Want so bad to do it all with spending quality time with family, be great support for the special one, $$$ making, ensuring health is taken care of, expanding in work. List looks like a few only, though why do i feel...disappointed? dissatisfied? or just feel that I can do a lot better in all of these things? staying optimistic has always been my survival tool. From the many harsh experiences during the growing up years in US to the life changing Move back to Malaysia, going forward and not looking back with regret has sculpted me to how I am today. Seeing the situation in a brighter light in situations have spared me the energy-drowning depression state. Although, what do you do when ur constantly badgered by negative energy?to be more specific --> whining with no resolution?I can actually FEEL my energy being SUCKED away from me, my cheery eyed crinkles instantly gone, lips locked tight not wanting to say anything cause anything being said could be thrown back in a yelling volume and all you want to do is scream!
Instead, over and over i've patiently let that ever-growing-scream subside while letting the negativity pass its state. Gotta admit its rather trying at times, many times....
Is it love and passion that blinds it momentarily?
Or is it logic that tells you its part of the character that needs nurturing?

Working on a new budget this month. So far so good, only getting the necessities. Food quality had to go down so looks like its fruits, chicken rice and PB & J i need to stick to. Cant be stressed worrying about next month til next month comes...

pulled groin muscle. it Fucking Hurts! J said it may take up to a month to heal. A FUCKING MONTH?! argh! there goes my flexibility and legs intensive training this month! =(

everytime April rolls around, I tend to be more emotional, I think...
I'm still all about No Regrets, though looking back just this once I need for self-reflection
Life is too short ya'll, seize ur opportunities and take ur chances!

Finally!!! my ass sits....

2007-10-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

ironically when it should have been a non stop day actually allowed me to have emily-has-a-lil-time-to-squeeze-in-PC-fun, although my left side of the face is throbbing in pain still. yup, another wisdom tooth plus root canal work done today. that would make it 3 root canals and 2 wisdom tooth extractions for the year of 2007! WhooPee! =( (man, i really need to start regular checkups)

so yeah, malaysia finally came out with a decent health mag SXXXX.(yes i know im a lil late on blogging about it. blame work =P HA! )
now those who know about SXXX would know that it has actually been around for a very very loooong time, even in singapore, "we" decided, apparently, that now its the time to start educating these people.
one thing they failed to "think", its a fucking Malaysian Mag! not US mag.
I'm reading articles in the malaysia edition going "where the hell have i read this???"
then it hits me "OH YEAH, ON THE US VERSION 3-4 MONTHS BACK!"
dont get me wrong, everytime i see a educational section on health in the papers and mags for the local printings, i feel happy for them.
but to CUT and PASTE? including Trainer Tips and Expert Tips whom are not even living in the country?
the nutrition advices are even funnier at times, as their food suggestions do not even cater to what the country offers really
read Singapore's edition if you havent, all their expert and speaking models are from or residing in the damn country. Hardly all cut and paste (though i must say having an entire "workout" program riding that "horseback-straddling machine" is absolutely hilarious!)

yes im a magazine freak. tho startin to get tired of the ads they have on every other page.
these times, you're pretty much buying a thick pad of catalogs with a few articles PROMOTING those products.
still great that they are putting a lot of articles on breast cancer awareness and diabeties.
now how about they put it the Newspaper where EVERYONE can AFFORD to buy?
wouldn't that be a smarter idea than to put a section on all the greatest food in the country and which places are the best?
see the headliners now "BEST PLACE TO GET THE FAT IN YOUR RICE!!" (Nasi Lemak = Fat Rice)

*sigh*...exhausted...
cant wait til Christmas season for some spirit lifting

Evolution of Blogging

2007-08-26T01:25:00.001-07:00

AHA!! finally figured out how to get a pic on my profile. yeah i know, a total web idiot when it comes to these html.photo url..stuff...

Hearing these "community messages" on the radio,( yeah, unfortunately i have to listen to the radio til i get a cd player installed in the lil hooptie), more shit on blogging.
so they are telling us to keep others feelings in consideration and watch what we say.
haven't we been nice enough in person? we gotta watch what we say on our own web diary?
look, no one is forcing anyone to read anybody else's web diary right?
so lets just stop with the power hungry actions.
i understand Freedom of Speech aint well accepted out here, although now they wish to have control over people's thoughts and where they choose to express them?
you might as well just publish a warning in the papers saying "shut your damn mouth! we do not want you influencing our stupid ppl whom we have kept under our control since the day we existed"
how shall we get more people to understand that the benefits of the younger generation starting to be more involved and more outspoken on their views about their own land, their own culture, their own home?
how shall we influence (cant change them of course) the close minded false believers and expose them to reality? most of these people have NEVER travelled out of the country, which i believe is one of the main factors

*edit* blogging is like tobacco. it is still legal and up to the public if they choose to use it. even though it has actually has been proven to kill. Reading blogs should be the same way too. leave it up to the public and let them choose to be influenced by it or not. besides, that shit doesnt kill. so firmly believe in bloggers freedom of expression!

prime example - the infamous "Negaraku" remade rap by "namewee"
now lets really listen to his lyrics now
were his lyrics true? yes or no
now they are actually publicizing to revoke his citizenship from the country, just because he put the truth in words? no proof of terrorism or overthrowing the govt yet if any Tom Dick or Harry even mentions the word Govt, they hit the PANIC button and want to throw him out of the country?

whats funny is - i don't think he would actually gain so much popularity without these idiots bashing him. without the idiots, his song wouldn't gain so many listeners (though some of them DO take it to the extreme in making super harsh racial comments towards the malays and chinese...wait a sec, what happened to our indian friends in this song? =P )

so Thank You Idiots! for making his message well known thruout!

found this. a little old. wonder how this article was received by the public
http://www.malaysiakini.com/letters/36676

Sex Ed Finally!!!

2007-07-12T22:42:00.000-07:00

Now how long have western nations educate their young and growing on sex?
LOOOONNNGG
Malaysia had finally decided to take the first step after being so disgustingly closeminded and "traditional" and may implement Sex Ed next year!! and yes! that includes educating the muslims out here too!!
wooohooo!!
the interesting thing now is how Censored the sex ed would be
hmmmmmmm
maybe...i.e"now if you insert the birdie into the nest, little birdies will appear 9 months later"
that would be a very amusing issue when this starts, if the govt doesnt chicken out last minute and decide that their young ones can continue fuckin their sisters and brothers and cousins and aunties and what not
Seriously, Sex Education is BADLY needed out here
Health Education is SERIOUSLY needed out here
how to take care of oneself - HYGIENE.....dont get me started
when i first moved back, i was actually shocked that the girls didnt fully understand the use of tampons, some even thought it would pop their cherries!
i had to show several girls how to use the damn cotton stick (of course no person was the dummy for the demo to be performed on. nasty)
Pap Smear?
yeah, girls go "whats that??" cockin their head to one side, dumbfound

ya'll really need allah to help ya'll

Painful communication

2007-06-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

why is it so hard for simple questions to be answered?

scenario:i am calling a restaurant for an inquiry
me: hi i would like to inquire if you have any specials for fathers day
receiver A: im sorry?
me: i would like to inquire if you have any specials for fathers day
receiver A: o you hold on ah
receiver B: hello?
me: hi i would like to inquire if you have any specials for fathers day
receiver B: im sorry?
me: (losing my patience) i would like to inquire if you have any specials for fathers day
receiver B: o you can come yeah but no special promotion
me: may i make a reservation for lunch?
receiver B: im sorry?
me: reservatioin. can?
receiver B: o yeah you can
me: (pause)...ok, are you going to take down my name and number?
receiver B: o my name is XXXXX
me: i said, are you going to take down MY name and number for MY reservation
receiver B: o ok. your name and number pls....

now is this the first time i come across difficulties like this while communicating with these ppl?
NOPE.
happens all the time.
was i stutterin?
was my accent too heavy?
was i talkin too fast?
no no and no
i've learnt to talk veerrryyy sloooow and with no accent as best as i can
yet, communication has always been such a pain out here

what happens when i get off the phone after a very trying conversation?
yes...
AAAHHHHHHHHHRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

The Blame Game

2007-06-05T02:56:00.000-07:00

So how would you know if your country may even grow to catch up with the rest of the world? By looking at their “native” or “national race” working. By reading the papers everyday and fully comprehend what this nation prioritize. By knowing your leader just has to be in the papers or TV everyday to cover up his insecurities of being compared with the previous leader. It all starts from the top.

Just like how parents love to blame Rap & Rock music, video games and overly sexy movies on their children’s behaviors and actions. How they fail to understand the fact that they are their kids biggest influence, no matter how large your damn TV is. What they see or hear, parents have not FULL control, but strong influence.

A perfect example: Child Obesity

You walk in a mall and you will definitely see 5 out of 10 kids who are too big for their age. Once they hit the teen years, parents go crazy and blame fast food chains and candy making factories for their child’s weight problem. So whats the key word here? BLAME

Parents are too busy looking for others to blame than realize they were the ones at fault from the very beginning. From the first time you feed your child, what the hell did you stick in his or her mouth? When he was turning one years old, did you feed your child a high sugary cake with loads of frosting at his birthday bash? When you’re packing your child’s meal pack the first day of kindergarten, what did you throw in or rather, how much money did you give him, as an inexperienced consumer, to buy at free will at the cafeteria? When ya’ll are going out for a family dinner, was it a McDonalds that you chose for your kid to dine in or was the kid “forcing” you to go to there?

Now, understandable, eating healthy IS expensive for the average family and CAN cost a freaking bomb, and it all comes down to how your “Leader” helps his people, how he educates them on health and living, how he implements a better health course starting in primary school, how he emphasizes on sports and activities mandatory in schools, how he spends more money on EDUCATION. Period. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

However, Whats the nation’s priority at the moment?

To spend money on highly trained search dogs to look for……..TADA!! à Pirated Discs

That’s Right Folks!!! The murderers and kidnappers and other highly dangerous criminals can wait!!! These discs come first!!!

Now, I can understand the probable reason for this as this year, the nation is focusing on tourism bla bla bla.

No problem!! No harm!! But if this year was such a huge deal, you would think they would’ve started sweeping last year itself rather than pull a last min call

I had a few gal pals who asked me before why do I have shit to say about these nation relating issues, why cant I just talk about what is current in lives, like what to wear to our next clubbing event, which mall to hit next, when to lay out by the pool…

I may be a small fry but ppl need to voice out their true feelings about what is going on in our world.

This is OUR world, OUR society, OUR own people that we have to deal and live with on a daily basis, OUR dirt on the ground that we’re stepping on.

If everyone is living for Me, Myself and I, the end of this time may come sooner than we expect

Scared Men

2007-05-27T01:27:00.000-07:00

with our generation developing and evolving at such a fast growing pace these day, still be surprised to hear these local men making such stupid and closeminded comments
how the hell can you dare say that rape victims ask for it with the way they dress?
then why the hell do muslim women, all covered up head to toe, get raped anyway?
how can you make such a comment when you wont even be able to defend what happens to your own kind?
just shows you how this country can remain in the shitlist out here
the fact that a small little island called singapore can gain so much more positive recognition and beat your ass at it
these stuck up Men need to realize just how much they are acting like little kids
they can start by evaluating what they preach about their own religion and how their actions contradict their preaching
they can start by accepting the fact that women are developing more to be independant and less intimidated to voice out
rather than accepting it, they coward up and disregard such potential in these women
they refuse to accept the fact that this country can do so much better when acknowledging smart intelligent and capable women in this country
i strongly believe this is one of the main reasons why the divorce rates had jumped out here
these men who think they are king of the ship wants full control mentally and physically over what they think as their "stock" (women)
reasons why they take more than one wives is so to feed their never-shrinking egos
now i dont mean to sound all feminist and men-hating and all, as i do believe not all men are alike in their mentality
it all depends on the up bringing of individuals
sadly to say, the number of those hit by "Small-Man Complex" is disturbing
how can a country grow at all if these high powered men refuse to shun egos and think of their own people?
how can such high powered men claim to care for their own ppl, when in reality they only care about their own pockets
how your country develops, it all starts from the TOP
so they gots to stop blaming your poorest countrymen and start evaluating they own actions

was reading the other day about blogging and what topics to avoid
what i just talked about, is only stating the truth and the reality of situations
how they preach about not talking about these topics is proof that they ARE afraid of ppl challenging them and being called out on

Fresh Start Here

2007-05-15T02:57:00.000-07:00

after going thru so many different blogs, lets hope i settle with this one
try to minimize the bitching, be more positive on the key pad....well....one step at a time
there are so many things on my mind and so many different kinds of emotions going thru right now

though i know i aint alone
many out there are going thru the same thing too
just wish there's someone i know that i can really confide in without holding back
girls and guys are the same
we can claim BFF and tell each other everything, so we claim
though in reality
i dont think that IS reality
i've never been able to make many true friends whom i can talk to about anything
acquaintances and "friends you do stuff with", but not confide in fully

i have a very good friend overseas right now
after moving away, i realize just how much i really miss the social life
aint just talking about the clubs and parties but the ppl i hung out with
the different groups of cultures and the travelling
but yeah she's like sister i never had
though yes there are still things i cant bring myself to tell anyone
not even for myself to hear outloud, how obscene they are
how deep inside i care what my sister would think of me
thinking back...there are many things i wish i could have done better to be there for her
to be a better best friend for her
now that i've learnt my lesson, life goes on

and life goes on and it should with no time wasted on regrets...

surprise myself sometimes at just how fast i really get over things though
fights, breakups, death...
been called emotionless, ice queen and cold bitch several times before
just because i dont dwell on what i cant change doesnt mean im heartless right?
shiet
Life is short, we gotta make the most out of it, whether it is for yourself or for others

and the story of my view on life shall continue...

its late...